Objectifying myself

A fortune cookie with a slip of paper that reads, "A copywriter opportunity is write in front of you. Send them an email."

If I were an object, I’d be a fortune cookie. I’m introverted, so I wear a wrapper when we first meet. My wrapper is transparent, though, because I am proud to be a fortune cookie, and I don’t believe in falsely advertising myself. As for the advice I give and the predictions I make, take them with a grain of salt. They’re just for fun. But once I open up, you’re in for some lighthearted yet telling after-dinner conversation—assuming you don’t eat me.